So, We Replaced Our Doorbell.

A year or so ago – really, more like two years ago if we’re being honest – I arrived home from work, opened the front door, and heard the doorbell chime let loose with a “Ding!”

I closed the door and the chime exhaled: “Dong.”

LeeLee arrived home a little while later, and the same thing happened.  Door opened: “Ding!”  Door closed: “Dong.”

I admit, I found this all rather humorous.  So the doorbell had some trouble achieving closure.  Don’t we all?

But the next day, I arrived home and the chime serenaded me with a neverending “Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.”  No “Dong” upon closing the door. Not even if I slammed said door, just to make sure it heard me.

It was still dinging when LeeLee arrived home 10 minutes later.  I was sitting upstairs, calmly reading a book, when he stuck his head in the bedroom and said, “Um, I think the doorbell’s on fire.”

(In related news, did you know that it can harm the chime to let it ding incessantly for minutes on end? Did you also know a perpetual chime can fill the living room with a faint smoke?)

And so it went that we had to turn the doorbell off at the fusebox, which wouldn’t have been a great loss, really, except that the doorbell fuse was also the dishwasher fuse.  This clearly would not do.  So, with the fuse still off, I unscrewed the doorbell button to have a look.  The button, which appeared to be the original from 1941, had broken in two, and one of the pieces had wedged itself up against the wires that caused the chime.  A few quick nudges of a screwdriver fixed it temporarily so we could run the dishwasher under supervision, but each time the washer completed its cycle, we had to turn the doorbell fuse back off, lest the button shift position and the house burn down due to the incessant chime.

I’m not proud to say that this went on for the better part of two years.  Until two weeks ago, just before Halloween, when I decided that I was sick and tired of missing all the trick-or-treaters who wouldn’t knock on the door and that I wanted to turn the dishwasher on and off at will, without having to troop down to the basement fusebox every time.  I decided to take matters into my own hands and fix that doorbell once and for all.  How hard could it be?

I’ve got some good news for you: Two years after first discovering the problem, I discovered something new.  Replacing the doorbell button isn’t difficult at all!  Here’s how I did it (after ensuring that our fuse was still off):

1. Unscrew the old button from the wall.
2. Untether the two wires that are nestled underneath the screws.
3. Remove the old button and throw it on the ground in disgust.
4. Bring out the new button and carefully reattach the two wires underneath the new screws.  Say a few cross and unkind words when one keeps popping out right when you think you have it all under control.
5. Screw the button back into the wall.
6. If there are any places where the button doesn’t fit tightly to the wall – we have a ridged column that the doorbell affixes to, for instance – simply take some outdoor caulk and squeeze a little bit to cover any open spots where moisture might seep in and cause a disturbance.  As one of my friends advised, “You want a doorbell, not a joy buzzer.”
7. Turn the fuse switch back on and test your handiwork as shown at the beginning of this post!

All told, the work took me 15 minutes to do (10 of which were spent wrestling with that wayward wire).  And it only cost me $4.99!  And two years of my life spent waiting to discover how easy such a DIY job is to do.

So don’t be like me.  Replace that broken doorbell ASAP!

:)